infatuation
infatuation, huh... what a dreadful, dreadful word. not only is it partly composed of the word, "fat", it also usually means self-inflicted loneliness, longing, and loserness. the 3 l's of infatutation. but what is it exactly? infatuation... im sure you've experienced it before, otherwise you are below 12 years old or your heart is bereft of all feeling... you get all tense when that certain someone is just around the corner, you think first of that certain someone before you sleep and when you wake up, you overevaluate even the most simplest of words that certain someone says and find yourself talking to, well, yourself... "what did she mean when she said that? is she with that other person? i wonder if she likes me. . ." you receive a message on your hyper up-to-date camera/organizer cellphone with the highest hopes that its from that certain someone and you sigh in disappointment when it isnt. does love cause this? no... these are just some of the side effects of infatuation, and i know it all too well.
infatuation, quite frankly, sucks dude. galing no, the way i put it? but it seriously does. it is TIRING. you spend a great deal of energy and time investing in a fantasy which may very well be just a fantasy... and after all the "you dont understand me!", the crying, the pondering, the wishing, the wanting, it eventually wears off... eventually. and you realize, "huh, what alot of time wasted." hahahaha, silly huh, but thats the truth, and thats how infatuation works. i talked to a friend about the ideal relationship, one based on Godly standards... one that shouldnt come before the right time, but being a human, i cant help but want someone.. but im smarter than that.. my past experiences with extreme infatutation have taught me so much... basta, i wont get into that now. i view infatuation as a cliff... or rather, me playing about the edge of the cliff... it starts as a crush, and when you "fall" and grasp on the edge of cliff, you are infatuated. its so tiring to keep holding on to the cliff, but if you dont, you'll fall... but the problem is, alot of us, even though we dont know it, have the strength to get up from the cliff, but simply... dont want to.
that is some friggin' infatuation. haaaay, so totally sucks. why should it hurt when you see a friend? i dunno... right now, i am once again a victim to it, but haaaay... i dunno. i know its just feelings, but feelings. emotions - they blur all sense of logical and rational reasoning... it has its ways. and it blurs my thinking sometimes... even though i realize it is just infatuation, i cant help but be hurt... but i still know, it is only just infatuation. one truth that gets me going on? "if its not her, then God has someone much more well-suited for me.".... so Lord, please hurry and finish up writing the script for my love story so i can act it out already! hahaha... kiddin, im not in a hurry to fall in love... in fact, i do rather enjoy the single life, but i'd love it more without all this infatuation monkey business right now. i soooo just want to be friends with this person... and we actually are really really good friends. but somethings pushed me from the comfy pool of friendship to the deep ocean of.. more-than-friendship. i miss her, but i know that its not love, just feelings. and feelings are feelings, no matter what you call it... i just hope these feelings subside. i think im slipping from the cliff, but i dont want to get up just yet... so please do pray for me. galing a.
just some things to think about. if you are suffering painfully from the symptoms of infatuation, find them unhandleable and find yourself so incredibly unable to stay stable, you should take it as a realization of your unpreparedness to be in an actual committed relationship. oh, and becoming a stone to your feelings doesnt help either. the goal of overcoming infatuation is to simply, not be infatuated. easier said than done, yes. at best, you should try to minimize this problem to a crush. becoming dull to your feelings isnt only stopping yourself from becoming infatuated, its stopping yourself from becoming human. we were made with the gift to appreciate beauty, be it physical or otherwise, but when this "gift" gets out-of-hand, pray. pray. pray. pray. pray.
galing a, but hey, who am i to talk? im still dealing with an infatuation problem of my own. . . i feel so hypocritical giving advice on something thats actually still affecting me. hope i didnt bore you and waste your time with this post. seeya.
infatuation, quite frankly, sucks dude. galing no, the way i put it? but it seriously does. it is TIRING. you spend a great deal of energy and time investing in a fantasy which may very well be just a fantasy... and after all the "you dont understand me!", the crying, the pondering, the wishing, the wanting, it eventually wears off... eventually. and you realize, "huh, what alot of time wasted." hahahaha, silly huh, but thats the truth, and thats how infatuation works. i talked to a friend about the ideal relationship, one based on Godly standards... one that shouldnt come before the right time, but being a human, i cant help but want someone.. but im smarter than that.. my past experiences with extreme infatutation have taught me so much... basta, i wont get into that now. i view infatuation as a cliff... or rather, me playing about the edge of the cliff... it starts as a crush, and when you "fall" and grasp on the edge of cliff, you are infatuated. its so tiring to keep holding on to the cliff, but if you dont, you'll fall... but the problem is, alot of us, even though we dont know it, have the strength to get up from the cliff, but simply... dont want to.
that is some friggin' infatuation. haaaay, so totally sucks. why should it hurt when you see a friend? i dunno... right now, i am once again a victim to it, but haaaay... i dunno. i know its just feelings, but feelings. emotions - they blur all sense of logical and rational reasoning... it has its ways. and it blurs my thinking sometimes... even though i realize it is just infatuation, i cant help but be hurt... but i still know, it is only just infatuation. one truth that gets me going on? "if its not her, then God has someone much more well-suited for me.".... so Lord, please hurry and finish up writing the script for my love story so i can act it out already! hahaha... kiddin, im not in a hurry to fall in love... in fact, i do rather enjoy the single life, but i'd love it more without all this infatuation monkey business right now. i soooo just want to be friends with this person... and we actually are really really good friends. but somethings pushed me from the comfy pool of friendship to the deep ocean of.. more-than-friendship. i miss her, but i know that its not love, just feelings. and feelings are feelings, no matter what you call it... i just hope these feelings subside. i think im slipping from the cliff, but i dont want to get up just yet... so please do pray for me. galing a.
just some things to think about. if you are suffering painfully from the symptoms of infatuation, find them unhandleable and find yourself so incredibly unable to stay stable, you should take it as a realization of your unpreparedness to be in an actual committed relationship. oh, and becoming a stone to your feelings doesnt help either. the goal of overcoming infatuation is to simply, not be infatuated. easier said than done, yes. at best, you should try to minimize this problem to a crush. becoming dull to your feelings isnt only stopping yourself from becoming infatuated, its stopping yourself from becoming human. we were made with the gift to appreciate beauty, be it physical or otherwise, but when this "gift" gets out-of-hand, pray. pray. pray. pray. pray.
galing a, but hey, who am i to talk? im still dealing with an infatuation problem of my own. . . i feel so hypocritical giving advice on something thats actually still affecting me. hope i didnt bore you and waste your time with this post. seeya.
haha!! nice topic....girls... give boys headaches...kahit hindi sinasadya...they do...haha!=)
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/3/06 7:35 PM
haha, sup' "anonymous" person. onga, haha! :D
Posted by
gabrielangelo |
3/3/06 8:46 PM
i totally agree with this. i didnt read the whole thing but mannnn what you wrote. hands down. so true.
Posted by
chloebear >_ |
3/3/06 9:44 PM
good to know im not the only one who thinks this way. thank you for agreeing hands down chloebear! :D
Posted by
gabrielangelo |
3/3/06 9:57 PM
hey! i agree with you...infatuation kills!!! it has the ability to destroy lives...and many more!
Posted by
kRis |
12/3/06 11:50 AM
i agree with you 100%... infatuation does suck...it destroys friendships, relationships etc...and when it happens you'll just realize that its just infatuation pag ala na yun taong mas importante sayo kesa sa "infatuation" mo...
Posted by
Anonymous |
23/3/06 7:09 PM
good one.. hey this hppens to a lot of ppl and the funny thing is.. it happens at all age!!
you are right abt 'should take it as a realization of your unpreparedness to be in an actual committed relationship'..first para tooo good!!! :)
Posted by
Anonymous |
22/5/06 11:44 PM
That is me exactl.. I've just got to get over it somehow !!
Thanks for putting it in simple english.
Posted by
Anonymous |
9/4/07 7:04 PM
Right on target. Girls do cause a lot of guys head aches. Reading this makes me feel bad. When someone 'confesses' that they really like you. Always say "Huh? Sorry. I don't think you know me well enough to LOVE me. It's just infatuation." SO the next thing thta should be answered is...what if I turned away the single girl that may have been in love? Infatation is stupid, but it's human nature.
Posted by
Anonymous |
16/8/07 7:25 AM
so true, thanks hopfully i can see the forest from the trees and stop tearing myself apart.
Posted by
noble |
11/2/08 12:07 PM
lol did a google search for "infatuation sucks" and this blog came up, and u are so true im going through this at the moment and it does suck so hard
Posted by
Anonymous |
10/4/08 4:14 PM
Wise Words, man! Every single thing you just said is so true, and I am identified with it, because i feel it too, and it certainly sux. But it's really hard to overcome, it's like an addiction, but an addiction created by a sick twisted heart, and in the end it starts messing with your thoughts and everything becomes this sad blur...but we most grasp our reason back and leave this bottomless pit.
Posted by
Leonardo |
9/9/08 1:34 AM
I know you wrote this awhile ago, and I hope you've gotten over that infatuation that was so torturing.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm going through it right now, with someone who I've often thought "Why couldn't I have met her years ago?" So much of what you said resonated with me. I sooo want to be friends, but I don't think she even considers me one, even though we get along fine and have even had a deep conversation about relationships.
I found your posting when I did a search for "dealing with infatuation". I had realized that the way I feel is infatuation, and that I really need to deal with it. This is killing me. But like you said, I want these feelings, while NOT wanting them at the same time.
Posted by
slade73 |
15/10/08 5:26 AM
Hi, everyone. I wanted to say that this might be a possible solution to infatuation. I got this information from the Web page that I'll paste into this message.
This is called rubber band treatment:
"First, get yourself a large, sturdy rubber band and carry it with you at all times. Keep it on your wrist if you need to.
Every single time that you have an infatuation-thought about this woman, take the rubber band, stretch it between your first finger and thumb, place it against the front of your thigh, pull it back and give yourself a good pop with it. It stings, but that's the idea.
Next, "correct yourself" by saying, "no, she's not interesting to me at all" and then, rub the spot on your thigh that stings to sooth it.
Now, you have to be very consistent with this. Do it every single time a thought about her (other than work) enters your mind in even the slightest way.
The reason why this works is that you're actually re-programming your mind to associate your attraction to her with pain and just everyday thoughts about her with the relief of pain.
If you do this for the next three weeks - and you're consistent about it - you'll find that soon you don't think about her as much - or even at all."
--Dr. Neder
I hope this works for you all.
http://en.allexperts.com/q/General-Dating-Questions-847/2008/8/Hoe-overcome-Infatuation.htm
Posted by
Jonathan |
5/2/09 10:11 AM
march 7 2009
I fully agree with what you have said. I am a single male and throughout my life have experienced several infatuations. It is such a waste of emotional energy and often lead to nothing.It doesnt matter who the person is.A woman may just say hello and it can set infatuation going. Our heart listens to no logic. The person could be married or unsuitable in many ways. It doesnt seem to matter. All it takes is a simple smile and you are hooked and you cannot avoid thinking of her. It can at times be very painful and is often a waste of emotional energy. Time and keeping away from the person is the only cures that I have found that work and it may take years to fully let go of someone. I am still getting over an infatuation that so far, has lasted 2.5 years. It started when a local woman said How are you.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7/3/09 10:11 AM
Amazing post, very true.
*) That's right Gabrielangelo...
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY...
*) It feels as if its a hard rock-like wall to break through and break free...but the truth is...OVERCOMING INFATUATION IS JUST A SKIN AWAY...imagine you peel off the attractive skin...your emotions will fizzle off in a fraction of second...why the hell does anyone need that hypocritical relationship...marriage is holy and got indepth meaning....Wait on the Lord and He will provide you the right partner!!!
*) ONLY THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE....
*) Remember, every time you fall, just dust off, get up and walk again..dont be gripped by past guilts....
*) GOD BLESS...
Posted by
Danny |
25/4/09 1:52 AM
Good to know that there are many losers out there just like me. Nice.
But does infatuation always lead to nothing in the end?
Found this post by googling "dealing with infatuation".
Posted by
alqx |
11/5/09 1:42 PM
Hi, Thanks for this article, I am in the grips of a infatuation that has been on and off for two years and last night I was praying that this be removed, i can' take it anymore! I actually keeping trying to stop my head being carried away form me and I feel like i am breaking up with him!
C
Posted by
Anonymous |
27/5/09 6:57 PM
Infatuation is awful, demonic even. I have suffered all my life. By the time I was done with further education and university I thought that was it, only to continue to be tormented again and again. Interesting that somebody above has said "The truth will set you free" - I saw a programme on www.premier.tv which spoke about extra-marital affairs and the like and discussed the bondage of such involvement. God deliver us! This is not how it is supposed to be.
Posted by
Anonymous |
25/9/09 4:31 AM
Yeah, it is painful. Many times in the first two weeks of infatuation I felt a huge, paralizing pain deep in my chest, slightly below the throat. I couldn't tell where it came from, I was struggling with emotions, trying to think rationally and logically, everyday I wrote a monologue or chatted with another person I know from internet. That helped me. I also promised myself that I won't make any decisions when I'm surrounded by emotions, to avoid embarassment and pain on the other side. I chose to suffer alone. I also concluded that infatuation is selfish. Eventually the pain went away, but now, a bit over a month from that feral portrait session with that girl (it was meant to be pure business - I wanted to gain more experience with my new camera and portrait photography in general - and the pictures turned out to be brilliant!) I'm still infatuated. Although it isn't as dangerous as it used to be, I still don't feel alright. I had such experiences before, but this infatuation was the most intense and painful I've ever felt. It DOES suck.
Basically I chose the pessimistic variant - one-sided feeling. And one day of observation at school confirmed it.
Emotions no longer override my thinking, but still influence my enjoyment of life. Another thing is that people don't understand my choice. Choice of supressing emotions and feelings. And not doing anything to get to know her better.
The point is - I can't be myself in her vincinity anymore. Not until I'm completely free. Anyway, I try to behave normally, even if it means nervousness on my side or limited contact. She's in the same class, I meet her everyday.
And IMO it's not the fault of the heart - I just tear this feeling down and say that she broke my hormone management system. Works fine.
See for yourself. Maybe you have old chat logs or diary - check if there are any signs of egoism in it. Maybe if you do, you'll realize that there's another reason to fight infatuation.
But still - should you fight it or accept it?
Anyway, I'm glad that there are other people with a similar point of view. I did my best to persuade my mind. Sadly you can't really control feelings.
Sometimes you really have doubts if these pictures were worth all the pain... that came with them.
I wish y'all luck. And relief from pain.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7/5/12 11:55 PM