why is the blue sky?: mojo

i hadnt seen her or spoken to her for about 3 or 4 weeks, and suddenly, so abruptly, i saw her yesterday. her. and suddenly everything came rushing back, like how amazing she really was, how beautiful she was, how much ive missed her despite me trying to be busy to forget her. and i did actually forget her for a pretty long while, thanks to diligent attempts at making myself busy as well as the long long time of being seperated from her. i had forgotten her so long that i had even become me again, the easy come and easy go gabe that ive been since i was a child... i miss those days. someone once told me that being grown up is not half as much fun as growing up, and that person was right. i recall when i was like 6 years old a conversation with my mom.

"i wish i was older so i could have fun.."
"well anak, once you become old you'll wish you become young."
"really? but you can do so many things when youre old!"
"youre saying that now, but when you become older, you'll wish you were younger."
"no i wont!"

and then that conversation turned into how i was able to say frog instead of prog, because i hadnt really learned how to pronounce "f" yet. anyway, yea... looks like she was right. my mom keeps telling me when she doesnt allow me to do stuff that ill understand when im a parent(if ever). i think i shall heed those words since my mom was right about me growing up. i do really wish though that i could stay young forever. just enjoy the carefree days, but life has not meant for such to be lived out by a person, for each person has his personal destiny to fulfill and in that process must grow from his childish person to a mature man capable of fulfilling his destiny. yea! i guess being grown up isnt all that bad, but all this emotional crap makes it a drag.

so yea, anyway, upon seeing her, for like just 3 seconds, i lost my cheerfulness. hehe, or how my friend and i have named it, my mojo! haha, austin powers :P . . . so i made it a point for the rest of the day not to look at her at all, and i did, but still, the damage has been done. those 3 seconds of just seeing her stole my mojo... i dont feel as cheerful as before, as carefree. am i weak? guess i am. hehe. so im getting back to making myself really busy, just like before, and to forget her, forget her, forget her. and i know i will! ive done it before! i must have my mojo back! haha! i do. really. miss. her. though. . .

you'll get your mojo back! wahaha don't worry! and ya, missing her is normal, trust me... ehehe finally you posted! i was getting a bit tired of seeing the "survey of boredom" entry haha:) im still here for ya, gabe.

"being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up: these are the best days of our lives. the only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you'll finally get it right."
~In This Diary, The Ataris

i don't know why i put that... hehe

Posted by geri | 24/4/06 12:13 PM