why is the blue sky?

this cant be true

2006-05-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

so i went to jose's blog and saw this test. and i decided to take it. but i did not expect what would come out..

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.
And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting.
Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.
And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

and im like huh? i try so hard not to be that flirty kinda touchy feely person who caresses every chance he gets and pretends hes listening but is only thinking about what someone looks like without clothes on. uh, i am not a natural flirt. or am i? the part that says that i hardly notice it though makes me wonder if i really am or im not.. huh, someone tell me the truth!

jello bones

2006-05-04T06:23:00.000+08:00

may has proven to be a very non-vacationy month for me. its no longer a vacation methinks. i think it is a workyworkworkation, if there is such a word. is there? theres so much stuff to do, and so little time for me to actually rest. what a shame, but thats life i guess. among the things i have to do this may...

prepare and practice for international student convention
renew my science project model for isc
rewrite notes for my isc guitar solo, guitar duet, and violin pieces
practice famous speech(i really hate this event.)
raise funds for isc
go to ust for 2 weeks of music fundamentals
go to ust 2 weeks more for sight singing classes

well, i know i should be thankful that im busy, but im starting to feel that im not getting enough time for myself. another additional pressure that i have is having to do all the above while i have fever. yes, i do have fever. im coughing and coughing and it hurts on the chest and throat. i feel weak and my bones feel like jello, but hey thats what fever does to you. i should actually be resting right now. im still praying for my isc fund support that'll be coming from abroad. theres a deadline to pay 1000 dollars by May 8, next monday, and i still dont have the money. =( still being prayerful though. what if after all the practice, the money doesnt come though? oh well... thas' life i guess. as i have said, this vacation is no vacation. going to ust is very tiring, since i dont have a car yet... commuting is a big pain. so much pollution, so much heat - thats manila for ya. o yea, and writing notes for 3 hyper long pieces is no walk in the park either... its long and tedious and has to be accurate. my science project is almost done, i just need to fix it abit. i really really dislike famous speech... i mean, its okay, but i dunno. i do not like my piece. the one that goes, "give me liberty, or give me death." i guess im so bored of it now that i cant feel it. grrrrrr. i'm so dizzy right now, and thus with the dizziness i say goodbye. please pray for all the stuff i need to do. salamat.

schedule

2006-05-01T17:33:00.000+08:00

people have been telling me i dont go online anymore. not true. i just happen to be online when nobody else is. im online from around 8 in the morning til 9:30 in the evening. thats my schedule! so if anyone wants to talk to me which i doubt anyone does, come online at 8 to 9:30! lets chat! whee!

counting my blessings

2006-04-27T07:33:00.000+08:00

theres something about this summer... some vague atmosphere of depression that i cant quite put. its like theres something about the heat that makes problems seem so big despite being small? lately, i feel like lifes been abit problematic, with college and her and stuff, so i thought it'd be nice to actually count my blessings and see just how lucky i am. and so i give you a list of my blessings. uhhh.. cheers!

1) i have a roof over my head
2) i live in eastwood
3) i play guitar
4) i play violin
5) i play bass
6) i have a guitar, a violin, and a bass guitar
7) complete with amplifiers
8) i went to jfa
9) studied in a Christian school
10) i was accepted to my first choice college
11) to my first choice course
12) i have a computer
13) i have an ipod
14) i have loving, nonabusive parents
15) i can count on both my parents despite them being seperated
16) i lived through an accident where the doctors said i had .1% chance of living, and if i did live i wouldnt be "conscious"
17) i have a cool cat
18) a church in Canada just agreed to sponsor my trip to ISC
19) this is the second time im going to ISC
20) ive been to the states
21) ive eaten alot of the yummy food in the states, nothing beats their burgers and sausages
22) i can be on the internet the whole day because of unlimited internet
23) i have 2 homes
24) im in the worship team
25) im able go to church despite the busy-ness
26) i inherited a 50k dollar Antonio-Raffael Gagliano violin from my grandmother
27) i have a mr.bean teddy
28) i have a ps2
29) i have over 5 tv sets
30) one of which is really really big
31) i have lots of friends
32) my spongebob "piggybank" is so heavy
33) i have 3 computers
34) i had alot of top 6 awards at the nsc
35) i got 3rd for guitar solo at the last isc
36) i have nice non-veiny hands
37) i have alot of food to eat
38) i graduated from jfa
39) i have a God who loves me
40) ive been to Cebu
41) ive ridden an airplane more than 5 times
42) ive experienced a 5 star hotel
43) with fine dining
44) i speak English well(although not tagalog, but hey we're focusing on the blessings)
45) my dentist says i have a nice set of teeth so i dont need braces
46) i know how to read and how to write
47) i have a driver
48) i laugh easily
49) im part of the crazy youth in our church
50) i can swim now!

so yea, wow, that really does work! i feel alot better! woo hoo!

heartbroken

2006-04-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

yes i am, yes i am. somewhere ive read, or watched, or heard that sometimes bad things just happen and in these kind of situations you can choose to be sad or happy. i just dont think its that simple when what or who you hold dear is involved. my mind chooses to be happy, but my heart chooses to be downcast. ive been forcing myself to be cheerful, to be busy, to do anything and everything to forget her, but in my heart of hearts i know that i miss her and i still think of her even when im not consciously thinking of her. i know that i miss her but ive denied that with my whole mind and my whole heart, but i guess you cant deny what is true, what is brutally real. she said she loved him, not me. its not all bad - im glad i never hinted what i felt for her, despite how long ive been feeling said feelings. years, definitely. but if she knew, it'd complicate things and the last thing i want is for her to be confused. or maybe im overestimating myself by saying that she would even be bothered by the thought of my feelings for her, after all, what i feel for her, while behemothic to me, im sure wont really mean much to her. who am i to assume a position of such significance to her that'd actually make her worry about what i feel for her? haha, they have a word for that in tagalog, "kapal muka". i guess thats what i am. but still, im glad i didnt hint what ive been feeling at all, it'd complicate things. just make things confusing. i dont want that for her, i just want her to be happy. and if stepping back while shes with that other guy will make her happy, that step back i will. not that i ever took a step forward in the first place. i wonder if anyone will ever be there, waiting on me like i wait on her, wanting what is best for me, the way i want what is best for her. if such a girl did exist, anybody, i would consider myself the luckiest person ever. pathetic i know, but i guess thats me. my whole life though, i know that noones really looked out for me that way. im afraid that it'll go on that way for the rest of my life, but i expect it. ive fooled so many people with this ruse of cheerfulness. i wonder how long i can go on. it really is true that sometimes people who seem to be really happy can be hiding saddest frowns behind their curtains of pseudosmiles. i need to disappear from everyone methinks.

mojo

2006-04-17T08:10:00.000+08:00

i hadnt seen her or spoken to her for about 3 or 4 weeks, and suddenly, so abruptly, i saw her yesterday. her. and suddenly everything came rushing back, like how amazing she really was, how beautiful she was, how much ive missed her despite me trying to be busy to forget her. and i did actually forget her for a pretty long while, thanks to diligent attempts at making myself busy as well as the long long time of being seperated from her. i had forgotten her so long that i had even become me again, the easy come and easy go gabe that ive been since i was a child... i miss those days. someone once told me that being grown up is not half as much fun as growing up, and that person was right. i recall when i was like 6 years old a conversation with my mom.

"i wish i was older so i could have fun.."
"well anak, once you become old you'll wish you become young."
"really? but you can do so many things when youre old!"
"youre saying that now, but when you become older, you'll wish you were younger."
"no i wont!"

and then that conversation turned into how i was able to say frog instead of prog, because i hadnt really learned how to pronounce "f" yet. anyway, yea... looks like she was right. my mom keeps telling me when she doesnt allow me to do stuff that ill understand when im a parent(if ever). i think i shall heed those words since my mom was right about me growing up. i do really wish though that i could stay young forever. just enjoy the carefree days, but life has not meant for such to be lived out by a person, for each person has his personal destiny to fulfill and in that process must grow from his childish person to a mature man capable of fulfilling his destiny. yea! i guess being grown up isnt all that bad, but all this emotional crap makes it a drag.

so yea, anyway, upon seeing her, for like just 3 seconds, i lost my cheerfulness. hehe, or how my friend and i have named it, my mojo! haha, austin powers :P . . . so i made it a point for the rest of the day not to look at her at all, and i did, but still, the damage has been done. those 3 seconds of just seeing her stole my mojo... i dont feel as cheerful as before, as carefree. am i weak? guess i am. hehe. so im getting back to making myself really busy, just like before, and to forget her, forget her, forget her. and i know i will! ive done it before! i must have my mojo back! haha! i do. really. miss. her. though. . .

survey of boredom

2006-04-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

uhm... nothing to post today. i practiced violin and guitar and bass as usual... and nothing new. read this survey of boredom so that you can feel the boredom that i feel and say, "oh i dont need to read this now that i fully understand what the writer is trying to convey", but it'll be pointless at the end saying that because youve already read it! *whew*

W E A R - T R U T H F U L L Y
do you like anyone? --> yep
do he/she know it? --> nope
simple or complicated? --> complicated

I N - T H E - P A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y OU
bought something? --> yep
Gotten sick?--> nope
Been hugged? --> yep
Felt stupid? --> always
Been drunk? --> never
Missed someone? --> yep
Ate cereal? --> yep
Danced crazy? --> yep
Gotten your hair cut? --> yep

Can you roll your tongue? --> yep
Can you raise one eyebrow? --> yep
Can you cross your eyes? --> nope
Do you make your bed daily? --> yep
Do you think you are unique? --> nope

H A V E - Y O U - E V E R
Said "I Love you" and meant it? --> yep
Waited all night for a phone call? nope
Sat and looked at the stars? --> yep

M A N N E R S
Do you swear? --> nope
You cook your own food? --> sometimes
You do your own chores? --> yep
You like pepsi or coke? --> pepsi
You're happy with your hair? --> nope
You own a dog? --> nope
You spend your money wisely? --> nope
Do you like to swim? --> yep
When u get bored do you call a friend?--> hardly use the phone cept for internet
Are you patient? --> depends

D O - Y O U - P R E F E R
flowers or angels? --> angels
gray or black? --> black
Colored or black and white photos? --> colored
hook up or love? --> love
sunrise or sunset? --> sunset
M&Ms or Skittles? --> skittles

staying up late or waking up late? --> staying up late
left or right? --> left
having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? --> no comment
sunshine or rain? --> rain, when im inside. sunshine, when im out.
vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?--> vanilla
boys or girls? --> huh?

to violoncello

2006-04-08T09:58:00.000+08:00

g'morning... i was so bored and i saw my cat, violoncello, sleeping. i somehow forgot my worries for a good 15 minutes just staring at her breathing in and breathing out with eyes closed. makes me wonder why she's always asleep in the morning and so lively at night. insomniac cat! or maybe shes just really lazy like me! lazy ass cat! anyway, i made a poem just now about her... hehe. this all came from the 15 minutes of me just watching her in dear slumber. i'm no poet so please dont bash me if it isnt good! and now i give you..

To Violoncello

In silence and solitude stands you in its way,
Subtly breaking stillness in innocent play,
Inside closed doors so dimly lit,
You are there and to witness every bit.

Since you came and ended lonely days,
Everything is fine as long as you stay,
When from darkness comes the lonely feel,
Stay there and scratch me into what is real.

As melancholy grasps the self led astray,
You gently untangle those tangles every day,
With your care, your affection, a loving grip,
With your sentiment, loyalty and companionship.

Yet reason in the flesh urges no bearing,
All that really matters is you there caring,
So close to me when everything seems so far,
Your naivety mends the painstaking scar.

Your eyes can melt the coldest heart,
Your warmth eases every soul depart,
Youre there to calm the aches that burn,
Oh dear friend, and in return,

No human hands to pinch or slap,
Or rub your fur against the nap,
Or throw cold water from a pail,
Or make handle of your tail,

And you neednt worry,
And you neednt hurry,
Dont be sad, dont be blue,
Ill take care of you.

Just the way only you have taken care of me.

what is painful

2006-04-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

have you ever pinched yourself and tried to analyze pain? or feeling? what is feeling exactly? when you pinch yourself, you can kinda think of the sensation as nothing and it wont hurt... i mean, it'll hurt, but you can kinda dull the pain with your mind by thinking of it as just a feeling. but thats only when youre pinching yourself. somehow, you cant analyze and dull pain when youre being pinched by someone else. what is painful?

i guess we can never really describe feeling, what feels good or what feels bad, what feels right and what feels wrong. we just know it. but of all the pains ive ever felt, nothing has hurt more than needing that someone more than she could ever need you. knowing that all you have to offer to your "you" is your love, but knowing at the same time that it just isnt enough to get her to love you back. knowing that you dont mean jack as much to her as she means to you. what is painful? i cant describe painful per se, albeit i can safely say that i can describe what it feels like. it feels like someones pulling on the bottom of my chest and on the top of my chest simultaneously - this prompts invisible knots of discomfort to surge up my throat and out my mouth, but nothing comes out. instead, these invisible knots transform into tiny pins that poke at the back of my eyes thus drawing a watery substance, tears, to envelope my eyes. i was talking to a friend who i discovered had recently started smoking... i asked him why he started. he says it isnt to be cool, rather, its to relieve stress from depression. upon hearing that, i've considered just what sort of relief exactly cigarettes would serve me from these tedious intervals of depression i've been feeling. but i know if i do give in to such trivial vices to vent my sorrows, i would be weak, and i refuse to be that weak person. but why is it that when im trying to be strong, that i feel so weak? its like theres nothing i cant not do to not not be weak.

have you heard of the term, "blindingly painful"? i think thats the most dreadful form of painful. being blinded by your own tears due to pain. yeah, so just what exactly is painful? im no psychologist, psychiatrist, emotion guru, or whatever, but i know enough to say that what im feeling right now - this is painful. blindingly painful.

as we go on, we remember

2006-04-01T06:45:00.000+08:00

yea, 3 hours before graduation day starts! its been a great year, and now its time to end it with a bang! wo0T!

but we didnt care

2006-03-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

have you ever accomplished something and been happy and sad about it at the same time? i felt that way last friday - the official last schoolwork day. why? i have no idea... i've never liked pace work. in fact, i despised it... yea, i know that i had to do it to get smarter, but to be brutally honest, it gets me sooo lazy and stuff. it gives me headaches. it makes me sleepy. it bores me. so when i passed my final pace test, i knew i had to be happy, but there was somehow, something sad about it. the sense of fulfillment was definitely there but i felt something else... something like, i dunno... dare i say it was a feeling of missing the dreadfulness of pacework? hmm. mebbe. i guess sometimes we can get so used to doing stuff, even stuff we dont like, and when it becomes a part of your everyday routine and suddenly goes away, you'll miss it. unless its like... something not missable.

so about the final day of pacework... hmm. it started out with me memorizing the last scripture memory work of the year, which was no easy task, but i did it. i finished it around after the first break, which was like 9:30 a.m. and after that i immediately started my last pace, filipino, which was difficult. for my classmates, it was a breeze, but for me... notsomuch. i had difficulty just understanding the questions. thats how much i suck at tagalog. my friends laugh at me when i speak tagalog sometimes. haha. anyhoo, yea, i had help finishing the pace and i was done with it at record time, four hours... lunch break, so i had the whole day to kill. i just went to the school's stage and lay there staring at the ceiling and listened to my ipod. then i was joined by like 5 people, and one of em, si kylie, was showing off her pet bunny, kaivi. it was a cute bunny, it likes to lick everywhere... brown bunny.

so we talked about lotsa stuff. i learned alot of things about them. so yea, i fell asleep and we all listened to the ipod. we looked weird staring up while lying down on a stage, but we didnt care. mellow songs, all the way to class dismissal. the fun started after school, we went to the street stands and had some dirty street food. you got your fish balls, squid balls, orange egg balls, kikiams, barbecues, gulaman, everything. yea, and it was all free cuz someone treated us. our parents would tell us to stay away from street vendors, but just this once, we tried it. so suddenly my friend tells me that theres this popular band playing at the mall later that night so we all went to the mall. the trip to the mall was fun too. my friend was making like really loud jokes, so loud that everyone in the frickin jeep could hear his jokes... they were not even funny, but we didnt care. the mall was packed. i mean, packed. the band was still doing like mic tests, so we started shouting, "more!" just to poke some fun... the security guard told us to stop shouting. he was like, "alis nga kayo!", but we didnt care. we did leave, but we did so laughing. it was so fun. so we went to the 4th floor and stared down at the band and shouted from there. we were like, "youuuuuuu suuuuuuuuck!". and yea, they did suck, but all the people at the 1st floor liked the band. it was stupid, i mean, they started like punching each other at the 1st floor over some band. since we were at the 4th floor, we just started jumping for no reason. everyone was staring but we didnt care... haha. so we met up with two girls from our school there and we went to mcdo. they have this promo wherein you order a float and you get a coupon that could entitle you to a free ipod shuffle. so we all about floats. like what.. 12? 12 frickin floats and no ipod! NO IPOD! we were all laughing at how silly we were. i even stood up at our table and announced like, "we still dont have our ipod!". yeah, they laughed at us, but we didnt care... we laughed with them. so after that, we went to timezone, played some basketball... nevermind who won(uh, we didnt care?)... after that, i played this shooter game with a friend and we got to the final level, but we never finished it cuz we ran out of credits. gaaaaah. after that we shot some pool... which was really fun too. the pool table was just behind the basketball machine so while we were playing, a basketball found its way into the billiard table and messed up the balls... i was like, "galing a." after that, we went to a karaoke booth but we didnt go in cuz only like 5 people were allowed per booth, so we started a pointless journey around the mall looking for the owner of the company. we never found her/him. it was fun though, the exchange of jokes and stories during the walk around the mall.

it was late. real late. the lights were closed in the mall, but we hung out for abit more... at this restaurant... uh, popeyes? yea, thats what its called. we just talked while drinking some root beer floats... weird root beer float with chocolate syrup. laughtrip pare. i swear theres something in that float, like... laughing poison or something. just something about it that made everything funny. even the stuff we talked about. so we just chilled there for a while, talking about stuff. plans. et cetera. it was getting late and the restaurant mismo had to close so we left the mall na and parted ways. galing a. i arrived home really late, and i was dead tired. but looking back at the day, it was a smashing day. simple, but fun. yea, people yelled at us and stuff, some laughed at us, but it was just so fun. being weird like that. for a whole day. uhhhhh, fun. yea, the day had drained me... the mixture of the pacework rush to finish and the jumping around the mall and stuff, kakapagod pare... but i didnt care.

portmanteau

2006-03-23T17:30:00.000+08:00

i had a sucky day. really bummed about something. someone? basta, haaaaaaaay. life. do you know what a portmanteau is? dont? go look it up and you'll find out. i made one... its... "bressed" - which basically means bored and depressed but mostly depressed because it takes more letters from the word, "depressed", rather than from the word, "bored". i'm so bressed. someone... anyone... stop making me feel this way... basta, it bicks. ah, another portmanteau. it bites and it sucks. haha, how clever am i? i need prayers. who can really know the weight of what is felt when youre limited to substitute the painstakingly austere realness of feeling into empty words. someone make me a cool portmanteau.

hehe, sorry for the pointlessness. im too distracted to really jot down any clever anecdotes, personality quizes, or the certain current day experience. galing a. i need help.

how do i...

2006-03-20T19:26:00.000+08:00

personality tests to kill time... i actually think that some part of this is true but who am i to judge myself? read on and nod your head in solid agreement or shake your head in bitter disapproval... or leave a comment stating your opinion on the validity of these tests. ugh, im bored... and since youre reading this, you must be bored too... you poor poor bored creature you... click on the tiger thing. *click click click* see? it helps. okaaaaaay. la lang, enjoy? galing a.

how you live your life

you seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
you're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
you tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
you tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.

how you are in love

you take a while to fall in love with someone. trust takes time.
you give completely and unconditionally in relationships.
you tend to get very attached when you're with someone. you want to see your love all the time.
you love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
you stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. when you fall, you fall hard.

expert janitor

2006-03-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

the recent thursday forcibly and unintentionally brought to me a feeling that i didnt want to feel... a feeling that most graduating students like me and graduated students im sure are familiar with. for a lack of a better title, let us name it the graduation nostalgia. but wait, do you know what nostalgia is? ive no idea how to describe it... basta, nostalgia. go look it up in a dictionary. galing.

ah, the average day, everday, mundane, lalalahappy, routine, normal, ordinary thursday. at least it started average... get up in the morning, eat breakfast, shower, dress up for school, and take a cab to jfa. but no schoolwork for me today... for today was the day the graduating batch was to leave for this fancy pantsy mall to take graduation pictures. now usually, such an event would only make me say, "oh yea! no pacework today!", and it did for a while... but when we got there and wore our coat-and-ties, while the ladies with their ever so gracious gowns(they were all beautiful by the way) and we had to wait abit because the girls were taking a long, long... long time to dress up. a long looooong time. and after that, we had fun in the studio. taking pictures with each other... and it was only then that i realized, how much i'd miss this batch. how much i'd miss seeing them everyday. from carlo to abi to hep to arriane to david to raiza to camille to ji. i dunno if im just real sentimental, or if this happens to everyone... i hope its the latter just so i know im not different. someone comment and tell me they felt this way too before they graduated. hahaha. so after the long, long photo session, our school administrator/principal took us to this really expensive chinese restaurant and treated us to dinner(suprised? interesting fact, schools around our area envy jfa for the pagkaclose ng staff sa students. and it is pretty cool.) so yea, the dinner cost like what.. 3000 pesos? but it was mmm-mmm goooood. so we just talked and bonded... remembering the funny, the memorable, the memorable-but-want-to-forgetable, what we would all miss the most about the school and what we see each other as when we grow up. we all pictured abi as an accomplished doctor, hep as a cool nurse like person, david as a pastor/actor(hes actually been in a film before, and hes taking up a course that has something to with like... acting? i dunno. basta.), carlo as a comedian... he always was the funniest joker in our batch. raiza as a doctor as well, but we also saw her as some kinda like olympic table tennis player... representing the philippines yeaa. we saw camille as the future manager of a very expensive hotel. with fine dining. hahaha! we saw ji as a cartoonist since he likes to draw alot. we saw arriane as a nurse person too since thats her course, but she could also pass for a lady pastor(uhh.. pastress?) or a model/actress. and i saw myself as an expert janitor, but the others begged to differ. they saw me as a future school administrator, and a maestro... that'd be cool. hehe. hey, im all for fame but when someone's ego starts to overshadow their personality, they better be careful or else theyre gonna get someones foot up their behind. so we all went home late after checking the pictures... me and carlo seperated from them since we were riding at the same place. this guy carlo, bestfriend. funny dude, and so talented. he finished his drum lessons at up at the age of 12. i envy him sometimes but its cool. so i got home late... and noone was home, so i started thinking... its been a great time hanging with them my whole school life, and i wouldnt trade 'em for any other batch.

and so the graduation nostalgia poison has seeped its way into my being, and i have no idea where the antidote is. and the symptoms of sentimental reminiscing have become evident. i just know im gonna cry at graduation day, but man i dont want to. but hey, i'd rather let it all out there rather than be some kinda stone. its my friggin' graduation day... so, im half looking forward to it and half not looking forward to it. hope it'll be great though! i know it will. cheers!

the beauty of randomness

2006-03-08T17:20:00.000+08:00

a random survey i got from my friend... since i have nothing to post. i actually do have something to post but im too lazy to post it right now... lazy gabo lazy. haha. bukas nalang. and now... tadaaaa... the favorites. wow, excited, wow. galing a. wow. haha!

::15 Random Favorites::

1 music
2 God
3 japanese food
4 bebop
5 jazz/blues
6 timezone
7 violin
8 guitar
9 letter g
10 #1
11 hot chocolate
12 sony ericsson phones
13 godstrong bracelet
14 leather shoes
15 pandas

::14 Favorite Foods::

1 blueberry cheesecake
2 strawberry cheesecake
3 braso de mercedes (huh? dunno if this is what its called. basta the sweet egg-like cake. someone comment and correct me if its wrong.)
4 california maki
5 katsudon
6 burritos
7 tacos/nachos
8 tempura
9 hakao (shrimp dumpling)
10 shomai
11 crab and corn soup
12 apple pie
13 porterhouse steak served with buttered vegetables and mashed potatoes w/ mushroom gravy over a sizzling plate
14 lasagna

::13 Most Watched Shows::

1 madtv
2 friends
3 csi
4 sopranos
5 spongebob squarepants
6 hayao miyazaki's works
7 anime
8 arrested development
9 x-play
10 that 70's show
11 everybody loves raymond
12 drew carey show
13 whos line is it anyway?

::12 Good Bands in your Opinion::

1 l'arc~en~ciel
2 bamboo
3 maroon 5
4 the seatbelts
5 the carpenters
6 the beatles
7 incubus
8 delirious
9 united live
10 manna
11 stephane grappeli w/ django reindhart
12 red hot chili peppers

::11 favorite songs::

1. bamboo - truth
2. bamboo - much has been said
3. manna - feels so good
4. manna - knocks me off my feet
5. manna - virtual insanity
6. the beatles - i will
7. the beatles - blackbird
8. maroon 5 - sunday mornings
9. the seatbelts - rush
10. the seatbelts - what planet is this?
11. the seatbelts - tank

::10 Close Friends::

1 carlo
2 abi
3 hep
4 arriane
5 dan
6 david
7 raiza
8 ji
9 hilton
10 gabe

::09 Things you're looking forward to::

1 graduation
2 going to virginia this summer for isc
3 touring america
4 going back to california to bond with my "family" there
5 getting better at music at ust
6 church
7 youth fellowships
8 bonding with my batchmates at the rooftop of school the night before graduation
9 wedding. if ever.

::08 Things you do daily::

1 sleep
2 eat
3 watch tv
4 ym
5 practice my violin
6 practice my guitar
7 shower
8 yawn cuz of boredom

::07 Things That Annoy You::

1 me sometimes
2 infatuation
3 people who try hard to be who they arent
4 rudeness
5 being moneyless
6 boredom
7 lack of sleep

::06 Things You Touch Everyday::

1. cellphone
2. computer
3. violin
4. guitar
5. Bible(well, honestly, not everyday...)
6. doorknobs

::05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::

1 shrek 1 and 2
2 sen to chihiro no kamikakushi
3 passion of the Christ
4 i am sam
5 lord of the rings

::04 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys::

1 crayons
2 piano
3 cars
4 action figures

::03 People You Have Kissed::

1 parents
2 titos and titas
3 thats about it.

::02 Of Your Favorite colors::

1 black
2 silver

::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your
Life With::

1 i wish i knew.

-

man, that killed time... hehe, thanks for givin' time to read, if you did. ciao.

now this is music

2006-03-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

reckless precision. hehe, these guys are sooo good... i wonder when ill be as good as them, or even if ill be able to reach their level in my lifetime. anyway, la lang... this is really good. it'll take a while and be abit chappy on 56k but it should be a breeze on broadband. btw, it should start with some kinda ad about nose pressure or something, so dont think you have the wrong video if you get an ad. enjoy!

click to hear the greatness

4am blues

2006-03-03T04:03:00.000+08:00

sup. i woke up an hour ago because i couldnt sleep. yay. hahaha. its actually 4am right now, but the blogger thing might post it at a different time... different time zone e. . . oh wait, i already fixed the time zone thing. yaaay. anyway, yeah, i gotta get ready for school in like 2 hours... hmmm. what is there to write when you havent slept yet and its so friggin early in the morning? absolutely nothing! hehe. uhhh, im not drunk nor am i high, im just sleepy... have you ever just wanted to fall asleep but couldnt? its a terrible, terrible thing. especially when youre like me and you just love to sleep. bad thing about it is that when you actually have to be awake, thats when you start falling asleep. then it bugs what you gotta do that day, like work or stuff to do for the day. yawn. sooo with absolutely nothing to do but kill time, i will do so. lalalala. hmmm... i love sleep. its the only time when im not worried about alot of stuff that i have to worry about. sleep is the enemy of time, and time is money, but i want money. is that why im not rich? and people say that sleeping has something to do with your height... im tall and i do sleep alot. i started sleeping at a very young age. hmm. im so lazy. hahaha. but hey, its a simple life and i believe its one to envy. now if there was only a way to be lazy & rich at the same time. that'd rock.

infatuation

2006-03-02T19:37:00.002+08:00

infatuation, huh... what a dreadful, dreadful word. not only is it partly composed of the word, "fat", it also usually means self-inflicted loneliness, longing, and loserness. the 3 l's of infatutation. but what is it exactly? infatuation... im sure you've experienced it before, otherwise you are below 12 years old or your heart is bereft of all feeling... you get all tense when that certain someone is just around the corner, you think first of that certain someone before you sleep and when you wake up, you overevaluate even the most simplest of words that certain someone says and find yourself talking to, well, yourself... "what did she mean when she said that? is she with that other person? i wonder if she likes me. . ." you receive a message on your hyper up-to-date camera/organizer cellphone with the highest hopes that its from that certain someone and you sigh in disappointment when it isnt. does love cause this? no... these are just some of the side effects of infatuation, and i know it all too well.

infatuation, quite frankly, sucks dude. galing no, the way i put it? but it seriously does. it is TIRING. you spend a great deal of energy and time investing in a fantasy which may very well be just a fantasy... and after all the "you dont understand me!", the crying, the pondering, the wishing, the wanting, it eventually wears off... eventually. and you realize, "huh, what alot of time wasted." hahahaha, silly huh, but thats the truth, and thats how infatuation works. i talked to a friend about the ideal relationship, one based on Godly standards... one that shouldnt come before the right time, but being a human, i cant help but want someone.. but im smarter than that.. my past experiences with extreme infatutation have taught me so much... basta, i wont get into that now. i view infatuation as a cliff... or rather, me playing about the edge of the cliff... it starts as a crush, and when you "fall" and grasp on the edge of cliff, you are infatuated. its so tiring to keep holding on to the cliff, but if you dont, you'll fall... but the problem is, alot of us, even though we dont know it, have the strength to get up from the cliff, but simply... dont want to.

that is some friggin' infatuation. haaaay, so totally sucks. why should it hurt when you see a friend? i dunno... right now, i am once again a victim to it, but haaaay... i dunno. i know its just feelings, but feelings. emotions - they blur all sense of logical and rational reasoning... it has its ways. and it blurs my thinking sometimes... even though i realize it is just infatuation, i cant help but be hurt... but i still know, it is only just infatuation. one truth that gets me going on? "if its not her, then God has someone much more well-suited for me.".... so Lord, please hurry and finish up writing the script for my love story so i can act it out already! hahaha... kiddin, im not in a hurry to fall in love... in fact, i do rather enjoy the single life, but i'd love it more without all this infatuation monkey business right now. i soooo just want to be friends with this person... and we actually are really really good friends. but somethings pushed me from the comfy pool of friendship to the deep ocean of.. more-than-friendship. i miss her, but i know that its not love, just feelings. and feelings are feelings, no matter what you call it... i just hope these feelings subside. i think im slipping from the cliff, but i dont want to get up just yet... so please do pray for me. galing a.

just some things to think about. if you are suffering painfully from the symptoms of infatuation, find them unhandleable and find yourself so incredibly unable to stay stable, you should take it as a realization of your unpreparedness to be in an actual committed relationship. oh, and becoming a stone to your feelings doesnt help either. the goal of overcoming infatuation is to simply, not be infatuated. easier said than done, yes. at best, you should try to minimize this problem to a crush. becoming dull to your feelings isnt only stopping yourself from becoming infatuated, its stopping yourself from becoming human. we were made with the gift to appreciate beauty, be it physical or otherwise, but when this "gift" gets out-of-hand, pray. pray. pray. pray. pray.

galing a, but hey, who am i to talk? im still dealing with an infatuation problem of my own. . . i feel so hypocritical giving advice on something thats actually still affecting me. hope i didnt bore you and waste your time with this post. seeya.

my late valentine post

2006-03-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

this was actually posted 02.21.2006 at my multiply site... but since it broke down, here it is.

at ayun nga, this is my late valentine post... this was the first valentine i received something for valentines... i got a chocolate. you see, one of my lady friends gave chocolate to everyone, so.. yun nga. galing a. wow. i gave this same person a chocolate, along with 2 other people.. why? not because im romantically interested in them... they promised they'd get me chocolate so i bought them some, but they didnt. hahaha.. so vain anyway.. besides, im the guy so i should be the one givin the gifts, so i told them not to get me anything na but they insisted... but they still didnt give me anything. hahaha. so that was my valentine experience. huh, not very memorable huh? i thought it was though cuz i actually got something for valentines and also i actually gave people something. the chocolate i got was delicious.. yum. so vain huh? i dunno why.. it felt special this time although not much happened. anyone care to post a reply to maybe explain why i think it is? huhhh.

a post to start all posts

2006-03-02T19:01:00.000+08:00

uhm. . . my multiply site doesnt work for some reason, sooo annoying. so ill be posting here from now on, and ill transfer my other posts as well. too lazy to write up new posts at the moment. thank you to gelabean for referring me to this site. anyway, stick around and read on as i try to uncover just why exactly is the blue sky.